Differences in how we think.
There is a misconception about people like me that comes from the idea that a person cannot be both compassionate and strong. My heart bleeds for everything. Its feels for my small minded, lonely neighbor in a unhappy marriage across the street, it bleeds when I watch someone suffering, for mass shootings and injustice. It even bleeds for people that ‘hate’ my family for nothing other than existing in our brown skin. It bleeds often and plentifully.
The women in my family have a history of enduring a lot of shit. Poverty, emotional, physical abuse, and self sacrifice are baseline expectations, not an excuse to whimper “poor me”. They are very big shoes to fill. I was raised to quietly anticipate the needs of others and to unobtrusively take care of them. Many women can relate to this and no matter how independent my natural disposition may be, I cannot shake this ‘nurture’ aspect of my personality. Put yourself last. Luckily, I’ve made peace with this as a cultural byproduct of my upbringing. It’s served my family in a symbiotic relationship quite nicely where we fill each others gaps.
I may be the luckiest of our lot to be blessed with a loving partner, great family and wonderful friends. My point here is, I doubt there is anyone that would call these ‘emotional endurance athletes’, weak. Just like my heart bleeds for human suffering and loss, I believe their hearts bleed too. It bleeds for lost hopes and dreams, for the desires to give their children a better life, for the state of the world.
Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve heard this speech. If you haven’t, you should really spend the time to listen to it. The differing reactions to the impassioned plea of a child were a shock to my liberal bleeding heart.
“How dare you?” She asked me.
“You say you hear us and that you understand the urgency. But no matter how sad and angry I am, I do not want to believe that. Because if you really understood the situation and still kept on failing to act, then you would be evil. And that I refuse to believe.” — Greta Thunberg
The moment Greta said this I felt the trolls crawl out of the woodwork. How dare a child talk to me about issues she couldn’t possibly understand. Her vulnerability was on display. Having been there myself I did not recognize her as weak in that moment but profoundly powerful. We all need more of that in us, particularly in men taught to bury their hearts at all costs.
I will not put this child on a pedestal and pin my own hopes on her just as I would not with my own daughter. I will however, applaud her honesty, bravery and commitment to the truth and let her know that some of us adults, parents, and caregivers from all walks of life are listening. How dare a stay at home mom of two make that statement? I dare! We see the science and have the same hopes and dreams for our children. How dare any of us, for that matter, believe in the merit of our beliefs?
I understand that there may be some debate (not at all in my mind) regarding whether climate change is anthropogenic. At this point does it really matter? The discussion is a distraction, an utter waste of breath and resources. Even if the tech existed to stick a band aid on the enormous, complex problem of climate change and its by products what kinds of stewards of the earth would we have shown ourselves to be? It’s not just CO2, it’s a whole slew of other issues that subsequent generations will deal with. Just one small piece of an interconnected puzzle.
I’m not taking the position of the morally superior. That would display very narrow vision. I want to know how conservatives think so we can tackle problems like climate change collaboratively. Why do some of us weep when hearing this child speak and others call her mentally ill? Why do people make such poor choices when it is clearly in their best interest not to? Is it fundamental to how we think? I think it may very well be. Jack and Jeanne Block published the details of an experiment correlating the data of individuals over two decades.
Can Your Genes Predict Whether You’ll Be a Conservative or a Liberal?
In analyzing their data, the Blocks found a clear set of childhood personality traits that accurately predicted conservatism in adulthood. For instance, at the ages of three and four, the “conservative” preschoolers had been described as “uncomfortable with uncertainty,” as “rigidifying when experiencing duress,” and as “relatively over-controlled.” The girls were “quiet, neat, compliant, fearful and tearful, [and hoped] for help from the adults around.”
Likewise, the Blocks pinpointed another set of childhood traits that were associated with people who became liberals in their mid-twenties. The “liberal” children were more “autonomous, expressive, energetic, and relatively under-controlled.” Liberal girls had higher levels of “self-assertiveness, talkativeness, curiosity, [and] openness in expressing negative feelings.” — Avi Tuschman, The Atlantic
My liberal, curious, assertive bleeding heart asks this question a lot, on varying topics. How dare we? How dare we shirk our responsibilities? How dare we opt for entertainment and distraction rather than tackling real issues? I used to believe that human beings could reach a consensus based on raw data. There are so very many ways to skin a cat and when evidence, real evidence is thrust in your face, its time to cut your losses and pivot. Change direction swiftly, acknowledge your mistakes.
I’m fiscally conservative but socially liberal. I believe in universal healthcare and a social safety net. It’s in my best interests to have a populace of educated, disciplined humans that respect the laws of society and each other. That logic applies to my children as well and their children’s children. It’s how we got to this point in history, seven billion strong. If the current system isn't working, you pivot, adjust, adapt and tweak the system for the best possible outcome. If the system needs to be dismantled, you recognize that moment. That’s not anarchy it’s pragmatic. Society must have the political will to do it.
He (Haight) wants the left to acknowledge that the right’s emphasis on laws, institutions, customs and religion is valuable. Conservatives recognize that democracy is a huge achievement and that maintaining the social order requires imposing constraints on people. Liberal values, on the other hand, also serve important roles: ensuring that the rights of weaker members of society are respected; limiting the harmful effects, such as pollution, that corporations sometimes pass on to others; and fostering innovation by supporting diverse ideas and ways of life. — The Righteous Mind quoted in Scientific American
What is your endgame? We should all sit down, take a deep breath and consider thoughtfully what it is we hope to achieve as a society. I’m not asking anyone to be bulldozed into changing their minds. The genius of mother nature directed our evolutionary differences. My Liberal mind is certainly not superior to yours. When I am wrong, I want someone to present me with evidence to change my way of thinking. That’s what a reasonable human being does. I admit I’m wrong and pivot for the good of my family, and society. There is a wealth of data both physical and anecdotal screaming at humanity to change. Look at the facts if you feel uncomfortable with a daughter’s impassioned plea, or if you feel that mothers like me would manipulate their children to their own ends. My liberal bleeding heart’s singular goal is to raise citizens that have flexible minds that can adapt, collaborate and see larger schemes. The Economist released an article that presented real information if you are still a skeptic of climate change. Please take the time to look at the concrete data.
Most importantly I want to dispel the myth that bleeding heart liberals like me do not understand what’s at stake. I understand the massive restructuring of society that is required to shift from consumption, greed and corporate profits. I fully understand the growing pains and real potential for violence.
Facts don’t lie. To bring this full circle step back and look at all that these children will face. Mass migration from within and outside the country, dwindling resources in a world where overpopulation is putting an enormous strain on fresh water supplies and arable land, moving from a consumptive society towards a more sustainable one, massive debts, unintended consequences and feedback looks, increased automation, species extinction and national security risks brought about by the impending collapse of societies all over the globe along with the potential of war. My compassionate liberal brain understands we are one drought, one wildfire away from potential food shortages. I understand ripple effects. I understand that other countries are facing dire consequences as we speak in energy sectors, agriculture and food security. My bleeding heart fully understands what that means for America, my community and my children.
Yes, my doom and gloom heart understands all of this, national security, the potential threats, all x factors to be considered, the good of the people and the desire to balance the complexity of this situation with making cookies and loving my neighbor. This really is all wrong. Greta should be in school across the ocean. We can hold all of these ideas, in our hearts, minds and hands. Make them into small digestible pieces, still be soft and strong. That is my dream for the children of the world. My liberal bleeding stubborn heart holds hope eternal.
The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true. — JRR Tolkein (LOTR in honor of my upcoming trip to New Zealand in November)
People are already getting the short end of this collective climate stick. Some based on poverty, geography, and ethnicity. The question is: when will it be you and your family and do I have the right to sit by and watch?
Go forth Break Bread: Chocolate Crinkle cookies
This is a holiday favorite. Make cookies and give hugs, lord knows the world would be a better place if we lived by that motto. It was my turn for snacks this Saturday for soccer and such a small thing can put a smile on anyone’s face, bridging any divide in politics or beliefs. Be kind people. Anyone interested in a Medium Christmas cookie exchange? Everyone welcome!
