In a world on fire
I think I can safely speak for a large portion of the population when I express my own exhaustive frustration at a world that seems stubbornly committed to global suicide. Every day is an exercise in finding joy in small pleasures while balancing the horrific gravity of mankind’s current predicament. No one will get by unscathed and the losses continue to mount. Several global upheavals since I last posted have left me a little heartbroken. Each successive event seems to crush the soul a little more than the last, eroding whatever compassion I may have left for behavior that I find morally repugnant. The sheer repetitive nature of the same wrong choices leading to the same results is an exercise in futility. My well is running dry. I know it’s an aggressive stance but really…WTF??!!!
The big events that shook my world recently were the withdrawal of US military in Syria leaving the Kurds to fend for themselves, California wildfires of hellish proportions…AGAIN, but with black outs mind you, and civil unrest happening all over the globe in protest to inequality, corruption and climate change. The kicker that really made me want to pack up my family and move back to Canada in protest, was Trump’s withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accords. Even when you know the punch is coming, that shit hurts.
Luckily, for whatever reason I was born with an abundance of compassion and a never surrender attitude. I’m not humble bragging. Other people like me know exactly what a burden this can be. From digesting other people’s emotions, perceiving other’s motivations, and profoundly feeling the pain of others, compassion can suck. Compassion with relentlessness can really suck. So I’m exploring the blurred lines between compassion and apathy. I used to think my compassion for people was an infinite well but I’m starting to realize I have really hard limits. So how does compassion relate to apathy and what is apathy?
Apathy is a lack of feeling, emotion, interest, or concern about something. Apathy is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical, or physical life and the world. —Wikipedia
The funniest part is that apathy is actually correlated to mental health. If I were to typecast myself by society’s standards. I’d be the emotional, sensitive passionate woman, (“crazy”, “too much”, ‘fiesty” and so on for those wanting to diminish women like me), who can rationally discuss my opinions, the basis for them within historical context and with reference to experiences as well. I don’t really do apathy. It doesn’t seem to have a place in my DNA. I go with my gut, listening to that inner voice for a passionate response and accumulate as much data as I can to make sure my decisions are sound. From my lens, the world doesn’t seem to care about much these days. Human courage and conviction seem to be waning. Well wishing towards your fellow man is a tweet about compassion that is groundless in real life.
As I’m watching the world crumble slowly around me, I intuit a lot of human apathy. Rather than take bite size pieces of a problem so we can all do our part to untangle the knot, it appears as though team status quo is bringing this one home. I will not vilify billionaires, and meat eaters. I will not lay blame at anyone’s feet. I will openly accept my own part. Strategic thinking, a shitload of sacrifice and the mindset of an endurance athlete are required to win this “long game”, which in this case is a world in balance, one that mitigates human suffering.
The complexity of our cluster fucks seem too daunting to tackle for most of us. Wildfires, errant missiles, a possible recession all become fodder for water cooler talk, as we would have discussed the weather in the past. Life has a very surreal, Kafkaesque, disturbing quality to it of late. It reminds of of one of my favorite quotes:
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
I’m going to pull my lone wolf, mom of two, badass, first world problems, boxing, knocked on my ass more times than I care to admit, I’ve got this shit handled, suck it up buttercup, baking, loads of experience, big girl panties on and call us all out on our bullshit. I’ve never fit in. Too tall, too white, too Indian, too opinionated, too smart, too strong, too sensitive. I’m forever changing, learning and evolving. While experience has tempered my youthful enthusiasm to change the world, I still hope, pray and try to will the best for everyone I know. I hate small. Apathy has no place in this moment in history. No one can afford it. The cost of apathy is astronomical and the ripples will be felt for years. I realize I’ve never wanted to be well adjusted to an apathetic society.
Why don’t we act? What mental barrier could prevent us from acting when generations are depending on us? Why does mankind keep repeating the same vicious cycles at the expense of others? In my quest to find out I came across the concept of psychic numbing.
Psychic numbing is a tendency for individuals or societies to withdraw attention from past experiences that were traumatic, or from future threats that are perceived to have massive consequences but low probability.[1][2] Psychic numbing can be a response to threats as diverse as financial and economic collapse, the risk of nuclear weapon detonations, pandemics, and global warming.[3] It is also important to consider the neuroscience behind the phenomenon, which gives validation to the observable human behavior.— Wikipedia
That really summed up for me the apathy that seems prevalent, particularly in the US . Horse blinders. It’s a beautiful day outside, grocery stores are still stocked, I’m not suffering rolling black outs…. Yet, climate refugees are starting to filter into my corner of the world but I don’t really feel the impact just yet. Life is great for me. Economic collapse and climate change will magically take care of themselves and mankind will trudge along assuming boundless economic growth. We have all the tools at our fingertips. Quantitative easement, or adjusting interest rates will help us kick the can down the road a little bit longer. Really people, we are not hitting a wall. To understand apathy and psychic numbing at it’s finest watch this clip about climate change that really applies to a wide range of issues in the context of human apathy.
The murder of Hevrin Khalaf, a Kurdish politician, is an example of this. Events like this are becoming footnotes because human tragedy is as commonplace as our daily Starbucks coffee. The struggles of women everywhere are my own. They are the struggles of every human being. There is no place for apathy here.
I was always raised to believe I have a moral investment in the betterment of mankind. I have a moral obligation to future generations. I have a moral obligations to alleviate human suffering when I can and contribute to society in a altruistic way, demanding nothing in return. For that to happen, I need to see the world for what it is. Contextually, not just with the lens of a very fortunate women who lives in the first world, with a support system who has the time and luxury to be ethical. I’m fully aware of my carbon footprint, the upcoming vacation and the luxuries I can afford. I will not feel guilty about any of them but I can longer stomach them at the expense of other human beings. There will be no apathy or psychic numbing for me. I hope we can all find our moral compass and consider the long game before we put on our horse blinders. Compassion is a choice we make, every second of everyday. Please choose it.
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Go forth break bread: Creamy Chicken soup: I add veggies and serve it with crust bread. You can make it in a crock pot but just had the cream about fifteen minutes before serving. Play hard and love even harder.
