Writing, Privacy and Shouting into the void
My desire to maintain a low profile is well known amongst my friends and family. I do not have Facebook, Twitter, Snap chat or any other social media accounts, aside from this little corner of the digital ether that feels like home. I admittedly shop Amazon because I despise shopping and have a mild aversion to crowds. Big brother is obviously watching because my popups keep trying to sell me more tank tops, golf umbrellas (soccer mom) and Vega sports drinks. The internet knows a lot about me even though I’m prone to being a hermit. How do I feel about that? It’s an ongoing dialogue that’s evolving daily. How do I reconcile my desire to write and maintain privacy? Is this even realistic or possible for anyone anymore?
Your “digital footprint” includes all traces of your online activity, including your comments on news articles, posts on social media, and records of your online purchases.
When you know the boundaries of your digital footprint and take steps to contain it, you can help protect your identity and your reputation.
- Symantec employee
My reputation…..hmmm……As long as I maintain my integrity, remain true to myself and do no harm, I can look at my friends, family and myself proudly in the eyes. My privacy, my sanity and the world we are creating are of more importance to me than my digital reputation. The real world where actions matter is where the magic happens. Really how hard would it be to find me? Unusual name, obviously West Coast native…how many Indian women like me can possibly exist? Does that even matter to anyone or am I just being pedantic and a touch paranoid? Whether it matters to you or not is for you to decide. Privacy is of the utmost importance to me.
I do alright with monotony but once you’ve had a muse or inhaled the scent of the otherworldly it can be addictive. Inspiration is like oxygen, and everyone should have a moment where life awed them so profoundly they wanted to become a better person and leave a lasting legacy. Those moments that make life meaningful are necessary, especially in today’s world. This is why I read and why I write.
You might want to share your magical moments and provide comfort to those who need to believe in something. You know, the vast eighty percent of the population that struggles day to day. Maybe they could use a little pick me up.
Hang in there kitten — The Universe
Sometimes I need one. You also have the right to horde that memory, event, or experience like a miser. Your right to privacy should be sacrosanct as mine should be.
How I waste my time is indicative of the kind of person I am. I read a lot of news and informative essays but it can be draining. I follow my horoscopes and a couple of “new age” posts religiously (for fun) because there is a soft quality to them and I secretly want to believe that someone can predict my day and the universe really does have my back!
If you can make just one person smile today, if only by giving them one of yours, My Dear, it just might change their entire week, which just might change their entire life.
I know these things,
The Universe
(Courtesy of Primordial Sound Meditation on Tumblr)
If I smile and play the game will the universe protect my privacy and not treat my viewership, purchasing power and family as commodities? The ultimate objectification, as a woman, as a woman of color and finally as consumers. Desperate times... I wonder if posting this will increase the value of my reputation. Food for thought.
I realize a lot of our scrolling is digital fluff but even on my worst day it makes me smile. There might just be an eternal optimistic cynic somewhere in my psyche. It’s like coffee and a donut for the mind on days when I’m drinking Kale smoothies and being responsible. Fun, fluffy, sugary brain candy. What if the bot generated quotes about the meaning of life on the internet really revolved around me? Holy shit, my mind is blown. I illustrate this for a couple reasons: to offer myself hopeful delusions about mankind and to attempt to discuss the issues facing us today. They are all connected, intertwined and wrapped up in a tight ball.
Our underlying behavior is producing a lot of (metaphoric and real) pollution, waste and bullshit, physically and mentally. I tend to generalize. Some people take a small idea and apply it generally. While I have an eye for details I don’t get lost in them. We are all in each other’s business forgetting about the bigger picture. Digesting all of it, privacy, in the real world and online, the good, the bad the ugly is like standing alone in 200km/hr gale force winds. We write about it, pay it lip service, but fail to understand the magnitude of the potential consequences.
Family photos and pictures of friends are utterly ubiquitous online. Somehow I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of releasing my children out into that void, naked and vulnerable. I’ll do it for trusted friends but there is really an unsettling aspect to self promotion for me. I feel as though we are all walking, talking advertisements for something, even my children. That makes me nauseous.
“This will be the first generation of humans to have an indelible record” — Eric Schmidt
I don’t want to know about your life through my phone or an app. I want to meet for coffee, look you in the eye, wish you well, listen to your tone and for the changes of inflection in your voice to see if your bored or we’re not connecting. I don’t want to one up you with my vacation photos, I want you to come for dinner and exchange stories over smiles and mutual affection. I want to earnestly welcome you into my home and know you. This is where social media falls short. While we use it connect us to turn out in force for issues like the climate change, in the same breath it alienates us and makes us covetous, envious and incredibly small minded, rage posting and having tantrums like children (my son’s words).
So, yes it’s a wondrous outlet to have this place in space to share ideas with you and to learn but it’s hard. I write for my tiny audience, myself and my belief in right action, perhaps even for my over inflated sense of self and ego. I feel manipulated a lot. I feel like most human beings with any online presence are acting on impulse alone and this is a permanent trend. You are manipulated a lot. Where does truth and real life fall on that spectrum? We are constantly triggered and acting in ways that our children would be ashamed of. Privacy is intricately tied to the idea that if I cannot say what I have to say to you directly, looking you in the eye I should not be saying it, tweeting it or liking it. Social media and anonymity are akin to driving around in a giant car consuming far too much space, too many resources and expecting others to compensate for your selfishness. Me, me, me, me look at me, I matter.
Restraint is a quality I’ve always admired. I feel with certainty that my children and all of yours along with them will be in dire need of it. Thoughtful planning, accepting the consequences of our actions and utterly crushing the desire to act on impulse will be necessary traits for our survival. Poor impulse control seems to be killing us ever so slowly. Our desire to gratify our needs now, whether its for a ‘like’, a purchase, or a hunger to fill that empty void with something, anything, is tearing the fabric of our communities apart. I know because having spent the better part of my life as a planner, I still fall into the pit of consume, distract, rinse and repeat.
Our lack of accountability is spilling over into every facet of our lives. Being responsible these days is pretty heavy. There’s a lot to be responsible for. Sometimes “being on it” mentally, physically, emotionally, as a mother and citizen makes me want to hide under a blanket and scroll endlessly through happy fluff telling me it’s going to be ok. A potential recession around the corner, tariffs and more climate strikes, yay world! My mother said something to me recently that really stuck with me. She said the world is changing. This woman has seen a lot. It wasn’t just the musings of a seventy-two year old losing touch with current events. On the contrary, it was her truly recognizing this moment in time as I have. So here I am, writing, talking about privacy and releasing my diatribe into a void wondering if others are seeing this moment as I am or she is.
“We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship.” — C.S. Lewis
The world seems on the brink of unimaginable change. Exchanging and sharing ideas is how we as a people will decide who we want to be and the legacy we leave our children. I realize that’s why I started writing. To express, to vent, to love, to connect, to celebrate the profound and to share it with others, so we all feel a little less lonely. To keep my right to privacy fully intact but to celebrate the good that can come from digital connections. To live fully and not just get by, to expand and allow others to flourish and excel as well. This is my shout into the void.
My dream soundtrack added another track to it’s library: Damien Rice — The Blower’s daughter. So weepy and touching. Come find me unicorn. I sincerely hope everyone has one.
Go forth, Break Bread: https://fitfoodiefinds.com/peanut-butter-banana-smoothie/ . I added chia and flax seeds. Quite good for the die hard health nut.
