You’ve changed so much this year my love. All arms and legs, sarcasm, wit, teenage angst and hoodies. Since the day I learned I was pregnant so many years ago, the one thing I’ve wanted to gift you and your brother is a sense of home and community. Perhaps my naive perceptions of human potential and possibility are short sighted. I think you glimpse what your future could be if we all allow for that unfolding. ‘Could be’ is what I want for you, your friends and your generation.
You are passionate, kind, sharp tongued, highly intuitive and smart as a whip. I can’t hide my feelings from you, lie to you or tell you half truths. You’ve been able to sense my moods since you were born. You so remind me of your grandmother in that regard. To this day that woman can smell a lie with a subtle grace I’ve never seen. She sees so much, as do you. Raw instinct is a gift, I hope you learn to trust your intuition and balance it with your smarts.
This year has been phenomenal for both of us. Watching you this past weekend with your girlfriends made me want to weep with happiness. You still have your Dad wrapped around your little finger. I think Dad wanted to scoop you all up and hug you until his ovaries exploded. Eavesdropping on your conversations, listening to your banter and watching you interact with each other fills my cup. Watching you evolve into a centered, intelligent young women is a privilege and makes me infinitely proud.
One of the many highlights of this year is having you beat me down the mountain skiing. You finally found your legs. It was awesome to see that smile on your face when you took the freestyle run and got a little air time. I was so impressed with you! Every little adventurous step conquers your innate cautious nature.
You are so hard on yourself my love. You couldn’t begin to see what I see in you. Boundless intellect, compassion, intuition and an intense desire for equity are just a few of your traits. You are happy with what you have, loyal to a fault and even though you tend towards being highly sensitive, you are developing a tough exterior that relishes constructive criticism.
Two of your favorite pursuits right now are coding and writing. You flourish in both of them. I’ve loved reading your stories over the years and your passion for books and literature. Your imagination and love of dystopian novels and science fiction fuels your creativity. That translates beautifully into coding and your pet projects about climate change.
I’m hoping you take a chance and try the side shave we talked about it. It would suit you beautifully with red tips little dragon. Parenting you has forced me to grow as a woman. Recognizing the inequities I’ve experienced, that you too will face helps me understand my own thinking with clarity. As I explain feminism, politics, racism and poverty to you as we see them in real time or experience them in this ever changing world, I reeducate myself and see the world through your fresh eyes.
I want so much for you and your brother. For you little dragon I want you to take that growing tenacious streak and smash every barrier, real and imagined, that limits your growth. The world needs soft and strong, the two of you are both.
Having the family under one roof during these momentous times has been awesome and challenging. Homeschooling went much better than I could have anticipated. Dad and I have had more hugs in the last couple of weeks than the entire year combined. You’ve been balanced and helpful through all of it, recognizing your need to pitch in while the two of us are sick. I know this birthday is a little strange living under the specter of COVID-19, but you know that we are healthy, loved and extremely fortunate.
As I tutored your dear friend this past week we had a discussion about a world of leaders that didn’t represent your generation. I told her change will come. That your generation will seek a more equitable world that represents the diversity that we see on a day to day basis. It will be filled with more nuance and subtlety and I know you will help build it. I’m not sure who said this but this sums up my wishes for you, your brother, your friends and your generation.
“I don’t want my children to follow in my footsteps. I want them to take the path next to me and go further than I could have ever dreamt possible.”
I’m so very proud of you little dragon.
All my love,
Mom
======================================= We wont be breaking bread with friends or loved ones for some time. I’m going to break with Birthday tradition and post practical easy dishes. I still love my crockpot: Tortilla lentil soup
I wish nothing but health, peace and serenity for those suffering and a most heartfelt thank you to those on the front lines all over the world for your commitment.
